I'm proud of you!!! If that means anything. You are such a sweet, intelligent , and sensitive man. Such a rare find. The world needs more people like you and less people like your dad 💔
I understand why you see him that way but I believe parents are supposed to protect and love us and when they don't, they didn't provide the bare minimum.
Forgiving them and understanding that they didn't intend to be shitty has been part of my healing
Yes they didn't provide the bare minimum. I didn't go into detail about both their absenses and the fact we didn't have basic necessities at home
But they didn't know better. And when they did they were too stuck in their own bullshit to fix it.
They were raised without it. Same with their parents. Generationam
Doesn't make it ok. Just gives me the space to move on and create the boundaries and healthy coping mechanisms to never be that way.. gives me the space to break the Generational trauma
It still hurts sometimes though, and thats why I write about it..
I'm glad you've found a perspective that has helped you heal. That's what matters most. I have a different way of looking at some of this, but this isn't the place for that. Thank you for trusting us with something so personal. 🩷🩷🩷🩷
Maybe that's what I need to do as well, but I'm not ready for that. I just see all of this from such a different perspective. Right now, intent doesn't change the outcome for me. I don't have human children but the way I care for my dogs reinforced my standards. I have been incapable to care for them on occasion (mentally and physically) and still figured it out. My shortcomings are never theirs. My belief is, if something matters to you, you figure it out, because I always have.
Thank you Elijah for writing that very difficult piece. I feel badly for you not getting what you wanted when you were young and for still wanting it now. If your parents were hurt themselves and didnt know how to show you their love, I imagine that their parents also did not know how to show them.
I feel so badly for you. You just wanted them to be proud of you. That desire is normal I believe. You didn’t have the right role models, yet you are choosing not to be the way they were with you. You are independent because you have to be and that is very mature, although it is ok to accept help when offered!
I think you are doing great and
developing into a fine writer. I loved the poem you did with Imi.
Oh this broke my heart . All I could hear through your adult pain was the tiny voice of you at
7 years of age just looking up begging for acknowledgment of you just being there, being you . Such a painful, but beautiful read . It shows that childhood speaks forever. Thank you for sharing.
It's like you've put the little boy version of yourself on your bigger, stronger, better shoulders and let him see that he will make it and the view only gets better. That's really powerful! ❤️🩹
I'm proud of you!!! If that means anything. You are such a sweet, intelligent , and sensitive man. Such a rare find. The world needs more people like you and less people like your dad 💔
Thank you 🫶 it has taken a long ass time and a lot of inner work to get here.. but I am here and that's what matters
Dad isn't a bad person. He did his best with what he knew. A lot of people don't have fathers that cared or tried
Unfortunately what he knew wasn't awesome. He showed he cared by working very hard. Thats about it
Thanks for reading!
I understand why you see him that way but I believe parents are supposed to protect and love us and when they don't, they didn't provide the bare minimum.
Forgiving them and understanding that they didn't intend to be shitty has been part of my healing
Yes they didn't provide the bare minimum. I didn't go into detail about both their absenses and the fact we didn't have basic necessities at home
But they didn't know better. And when they did they were too stuck in their own bullshit to fix it.
They were raised without it. Same with their parents. Generationam
Doesn't make it ok. Just gives me the space to move on and create the boundaries and healthy coping mechanisms to never be that way.. gives me the space to break the Generational trauma
It still hurts sometimes though, and thats why I write about it..
I'm glad you've found a perspective that has helped you heal. That's what matters most. I have a different way of looking at some of this, but this isn't the place for that. Thank you for trusting us with something so personal. 🩷🩷🩷🩷
Absolutely
What works for me doesn't work for everyone.. what matters is finding what works for you.
Anger was what i had for a long time but that burned me
Sorrow for a long time but that burned me
Dissapointment for a long time. Still have some but it burnt me
Forgiveness is the only thing that's truly worked for me when it comes to the hard stuff..
Maybe that's what I need to do as well, but I'm not ready for that. I just see all of this from such a different perspective. Right now, intent doesn't change the outcome for me. I don't have human children but the way I care for my dogs reinforced my standards. I have been incapable to care for them on occasion (mentally and physically) and still figured it out. My shortcomings are never theirs. My belief is, if something matters to you, you figure it out, because I always have.
Thank you Elijah for writing that very difficult piece. I feel badly for you not getting what you wanted when you were young and for still wanting it now. If your parents were hurt themselves and didnt know how to show you their love, I imagine that their parents also did not know how to show them.
I feel so badly for you. You just wanted them to be proud of you. That desire is normal I believe. You didn’t have the right role models, yet you are choosing not to be the way they were with you. You are independent because you have to be and that is very mature, although it is ok to accept help when offered!
I think you are doing great and
developing into a fine writer. I loved the poem you did with Imi.
Oh this broke my heart . All I could hear through your adult pain was the tiny voice of you at
7 years of age just looking up begging for acknowledgment of you just being there, being you . Such a painful, but beautiful read . It shows that childhood speaks forever. Thank you for sharing.
Truly it does. A huge part of my healing has been embracing that inner child
Thank you for reading!
Very vulnerable piece. I'm sorry that you gave to live this. Hopefully you find peace
I have a lot more peace then i did. I've forgiven them. Still struggle to move on sometimes..
This was an amazing experience to read
Then what woman ever will?...many,
I also appreciate the lonely line of "I love you" --this is true stoicism
♥️
😭
My heart feels raw. And it bleeds for you, Elijah. I’m so VERY, VERY sorry 😞
It's ok Becky. In It's own twisted way it made me into the man I am today
And what a MAGNIFICENT man you are, Elijah!!❤️😊
Hi Elijah, this is really beautiful
Melts my heart.
Where have you been all my life.
Totally loved it.
I like to connect with poets here
As a poetry lover, I just subbed and glad I found you again
I'd like if you could check out my piece and kindly connect (Sub) back if it sticks.
I promise you'd love it.
https://lawrenceomoregiejr.substack.com/p/to-my-substack-family-561?r=3g3d4k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
https://lawrenceomoregiejr.substack.com/p/the-abuser?r=3g3d4k&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
Do have a great read and a lovely new week
As we grow together here
Lovely
It's like you've put the little boy version of yourself on your bigger, stronger, better shoulders and let him see that he will make it and the view only gets better. That's really powerful! ❤️🩹
It really does get better. Appreciate you..
Thank you. No, it’s not linear. Great piece!
Thank you Melanie!