Too much

"Release your inhibitions. Feel the rain on your skin, nobody else can feel it for you."- Natacha Bedingfield

They say too much like it is something I can help

Like I can reduce myself to dust and succumb to the breeze

Boil myself to steam and wisp away into the atmosphere.

…

I would love to get more sleep. I would love to not cry in my truck on my way to work because the wrong song snuck up on me. I would love to feel normal.

But I have never followed trends. I was never meant to be like anyone else. I was never meant to fall into the same old bullshit. I was always meant for something bigger, and I have always known it. Even if that bigger thing is feeling deeply.

If I did not feel deeply, I would lose the extreme joy. The fluttering in my chest when somebody compliments me. The excitement I feel when I get to see my niece and nephew. The deep love for my friends and companions. The joy burning my throat like a shot of moonshine. The drive to run into the pouring rain and soak myself while scream singing Natasha Bedingfield.

…

They say it like it’s something bad

Like I am committing murder when the only thing that gets hurt is my soul when evil continues to thrive and exist.

It is a raging wildfire for everyone to bear witness to. A hurricane crashing to the shore. A tornado ripping the roof from its foundation.

But the only thing it tears apart is me.

I cant help it if every little thing courses through my veins like a river crashing through a valley.

And settles in my stomach like a brick

…

They say it as if wanting to pick flowers for your friends and buy chocolate for your old coworkers on Easter is bad

Like being thoughtful is tearing this world apart and not all the bullshit happening around us.

…

This world needs more deep feelings, not less.

It has slowly become a swamp of nonchalance with evil festering deep below.

So what I cried watching a cat rescue? How does it affect you?

I was never too much

You were never too much.

And you never have been.

Please never reduce your beautiful soul to come down to other peoples level.

Deep feelings are fucking beautiful and you cannot change my mind

Even if it comes at the cost of feeling the bad deeply as well.

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