There’s something beautifully unguarded in this. The repeated longing never feels ornamental—it feels spoken from inside the feeling itself. “Your heartbeat upon my heartbeat” stayed with me.
Beautiful! Hey consider removing “dystopian.” It’s unnecessary and sort of over academic sounding in the warmly tender context. Forgive me— I’m a professional editor and I just can’t control that!
Some lucky lady will love to hear you speak these words to her one day, Elijah💕😊
There’s something beautifully unguarded in this. The repeated longing never feels ornamental—it feels spoken from inside the feeling itself. “Your heartbeat upon my heartbeat” stayed with me.
💗
Love it 🥰
Beautiful! Hey consider removing “dystopian.” It’s unnecessary and sort of over academic sounding in the warmly tender context. Forgive me— I’m a professional editor and I just can’t control that!
I appreciate the feedback but I'm probably gonna keep it..
It's what I wrote and I like it
I'm here to write as the words come out. Not necessarily write the best or write logically