Magpie

Ill follow you into the dark

Trigger warning. Death, sad. Kind of a memorial of sorts. She passed a few years ago but i still miss her from time to time..

I had to hold it together writing this. Almost cried in the work truck..

Your passing still effects me heavily from time to time. You showed me what love was. That it was through actions, not words

That love wasn't all romantic

It has ebs and flows..

That it doesn't have to be between people

…

You stuck with me when I was broken

When I hated myself

Was drinking heavy

And had no job

While others were giving up on me

You were there giving me reasons to live

…

You showed me tenderness

But you never backed down from what your wants and needs were

You were always very clear

You didn't really like anyone else

You hated my dad

Tolerated my mom

And liked my friend James for some reason

…

You were faithful without expectations

Always waiting for me

You followed me everywhere and through everything You loved me.

…

You may have been a cat, and I only had you for your last 4 and a bit years. But you showed me so much and made me feel loved when I hated myself

…

I think in a lot of ways, even if you didn't realize it, we were very similar

…

Somebody abandoned you with no claws to defend yourself

You were starving, scared, and needed to be loved

Much like my parents left me to survive on my own when I was a kid

And I had to figure stuff out without proper guidance

…

We tried to find your owners

But despite campaigning around all the local towns, posters, social media and by word of mouth nobody claimed you

…

In a way thats probably a good thing. I'd be tempted to cut off their knuckles and abandon them in a woodpile like they did to you.

I am convinced to this day those sick fucks did what they did to you on purpose. You were not an easy cat. But that's what made you so lovable. It's the difficult ones that tend to hurt the most

…

We were both wrecks

You showed me the love I needed

I showed you the kindness and gave you the love you needed

…

You were a character too. You'd "shred" my leg if I wasn't giving you required attention. You hated kids. You drank out of my glass and would try to steal my chips. You would meow at me like I owed you something if I spent too long with my dad or really anyone but you.

One time you got a salt and vinegar chip, I tried to stop you but you powered through like a little kid with a lemon.. Like it was earned. Like whatever I was eating was yours to eat too

Bugger..

Your death has hurt more than any other I have experienced. I don't think of my grandma, grandpa, aquantences or even my friend who took his life as much as I think about you.

…

People cannot convince me pets aren't family after what you showed me

….

But thats ok. I know it was your time, you were old when we found you. Old enough that the tag in your ear had faded and we couldn't trace you back to your original owners. By the time you passed you were well past 10, potentially even getting close to 14

…

What matters is the time we spent together

The way you gave me a reason to live when I couldn't come up with one on my own. The way I gave you a warm loving space after your last owners gave up on you

…

You still come to visit me in my dreams. That is why I wrote this today. You come by and are playful like a kitten. You're not old, grumpy or sorrowful like you were when I knew you. It's a reminder, at least to me, you're in a better place

I love you magpie

And I miss you so much..

Below the usual dribble about subscribing to me are some more pictures I have of her. I probably have about 60 different ones but these are my favorites

Have you had a pet that has meant significantly more than any other in your life? Tell me about them.

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Cuddling on my single mattress on the floor. Hardly enough room for one person but I had to share with her

We went to a music festival when I lived in an RV. I let her wander outside (supervised, basically by her side. I didn't know if she'd be able to find her way back). She decided the stage was for her

When I was trying to study cyber security. Clearly she was more important than those dumb books. She was right; I am not a tech person and cyber security isn't the field I was meant for

Magpie in my RV by her heater on her little bed wondering what I was doing