1 pm
A short piece on what a lot of mornings looked like for me as a younger teenager. Unfortunately we partied so much there really isnt many pictures of us or the shenanigans. But this piece is a reflection of my shitty habits when they truly formed into a regular thing. This wasn't one morning. This was over and over.
This isnt a cry for help, or pity. I am doing really well. It's just me being real about where I was. Honestly as odd as it may sound, this place of my life really does hold a lot of nostalgia for me. Yeah the house was a mess, yeah my life was falling apart. But it is a part of me and sometimes it was really fun
I used this picture from 2021 because in a lot of ways it accurately describes where I ended up. In a lot of ways it describes where I started. Lonely, sad, confused and angry. Just allowing the world to roll over me
1pm
…
It's about 1pm
…
Cigarette smoke hangs low
…
The scent of Febreeze combatting with the cigarettes for who's more obnoxious
…
The chatter of NCIS: Los Angeles muttered in the background like the crime scene wasn't last night's drinking
…
And the dogs claws chattering against the lynol as they follow you in..
…
Floors scattered with dirt, dust, random clothes
Beer cans placed in inconsistent spots throughout like an easter hunt of last nights regrets..
Dog hair and dust float in front of the yellowed sunblinds …
…
My ears are ringing, head is pounding
The sun is so bright in the kitchen
Fuck me I wish I could sleep a bit more
I'm hungover
This isn't new to me. Just needed a couple good hoots and maybe some elk jerky
A Tylenol
Maybe a beer if we didn't drink it all last night
My friends mom sitting with a drink in hand watching TV
Smoking a cigarette..
Petting her favorite dog
…
"You all have a good night last night?" She asks
"Yeah. Not feeling great today though"
"Oh this aint my first rodeo kiddo. I heard yall up at 1 in the morning. So long as y'all had fun"
"Always"
…
She was like the mother I never had. Little too late, I was 15 and already had issues. But she would listen to me whenever I had issues.
She would take me to buy weed
She would hang out when I needed someone to hang out with
Sometimes I'd go over there just to see her
After she died I never really went back
…
I step out to the porch, a half finished half roofed deck covered in construction materials, beer cans and bird shit.
I grab a few roaches out of the ashtray and load it into the bong
Probably hadn't been cleaned in a month, but i didn't wanna wake my buddy up to get papers or bum weed off him
I choke on whats left of that morning's dignity
Grab a beer
Sit down with my friends mom and wait for my buddies
And begin the cycle again



Your vulnerability and openness is beautiful. I really like it 💜
The Febreeze fighting the cigarette smoke?? Even the room was trying and failing to clean up the morning. >.<